I used to be a teacher. I used to be a teacher. No matter how many times I say it, I can’t seem to get used to it. These last few days of my teaching career have been pretty emotional. I am so sad to be giving it up. I love teaching and I love the kids. Physically, I’ve been ready for awhile. Mentally and emotionally I’m not even close to ready. I feel like it’s the right decision, but that doesn’t make it an easy decision.
Here is what I WON’T miss………………
Getting up at 5:30 am. Not being able to go to the bathroom when I need to go. Grading huge stacks of papers. Staff development that does not do much to develop my teaching ability. Spending hundreds of dollars of my own money on classroom supplies. Fighting politicians who refuse to listen to teachers and do what’s best for kids. Scarfing down my lunch in 30 minutes or less. Working when I’m sick because writing sub plans is too much trouble. Planning possible escape routes out of my room in case of an active shooting situation. A confusing and arbitrary teacher evaluation system. Standardized tests. Worrying about my students’ mental and emotional health, home situations, etc. Not being able to sleep as I think about how much grading I have, how many lessons I have to prepare, how many meetings I have to attend……………….
Here is what I WILL miss………………..
The excited chatter of a room full of teenagers. Waves, high fives, hugs, greetings from my kids. Notes of thanks and tokens of appreciation. Seeing the kids achieve academically, athletically, socially. Watching a shy, awkward freshmen grow and develop into a strong, confident senior. Visits from past students. Intellectual conversations with colleagues. Fun, outrageous and not-so-intellectual conversations with colleagues. Friday afternoon socializing. Being a part of a team. Having a “work” family. Putting together lessons that are engaging and effective. Homecomings, sporting events, spirit days, proms. Snow days. Planning periods. Collaboration. Starting a new school year each August. Reflecting on the past school year every May. The eternal optimism, energy, and enthusiasm of youth. The laughter. The celebrations. Teaching a content that I’m passionate about. Feeling like a contributing member of society. Having a routine. Knowing that my work is important and really matters. Shaping and having an impact on the future.
When last I wrote I had just started my new chemo regimen. It’s tolerable, but side effects are a battle. I’ve dealt with fatigue, hand/foot syndrome, a few mouth sores. I take the pills for two weeks and then take a week off. In February, a scan seemed to indicate that the medication was working. Most spots were stable or had shrunk. One rogue spot had grown slightly. We will scan again toward the end of July.
My hair has still not grown back from the radiation in September. My radiation oncologist said it may never come back. Other patients say it will but it takes a year or longer. I was hoping to have some hair for the summer, but it’s not going to happen.
I leave one month from today for a dream trip to Europe! Finally, I get to see some of the amazing places, ruins, and artifacts that have been a part of my curriculum for so many years. I will visit London, Barcelona, Monaco, Florence, Rome, Athens, Mykonos, Santorini, Malta, and Paris. I can’t begin to express how excited I am.
And so begins my life of early retirement. I’m so lucky that I’m able to do it. However, I would gladly trade my early retirement for my health plus another decade of teaching. My career is not ending when and how I wanted it to end, but I plan on making the absolute best of the situation. I will have to get used to saying, “I used to be a teacher.”