Ned, Reggie, and the Stable Boy

Humor is one of my secret weapons for getting through difficult situations. This is not a surprise to those who know me well. Sometimes when I should be crying, I find myself laughing, which is a lot more enjoyable. Even having cancer presents a lot of humorous situations that make me laugh. Don’t get me wrong, I have shed my share of tears, but today I want to blog about something on my journey that I found very amusing and hopefully you will too.

Shortly after my diagnosis in March, I went straight to the internet in search of statistics, answers, and support. Statistics are scary and outdated, so I choose to dismiss those. I still haven’t found any answers, although I continue to search. What I have found is an outpouring of support from so many women who, like me, are dealing with a stage IV breast cancer diagnosis. My favorite is a site called They have a ton of discussion boards for any and every situation from women who haven’t been diagnosed but are worried, to veterans who have been diagnosed and rediagnosed. You can ask questions about treatments, side effects, advice for caregivers, etc. I have yet to see someone post a question and not get some sort of support, answer, or resource sent her way.

I know some of you will probably comment and tell me not to believe everything I read and be careful because these people are not medical professionals. Please don’t worry. I would never do, try, or believe anything that I don’t confirm with my competent and well trained team of physicians.

Anyway, after being suddenly shoved from stage I into the stage IV category, I went to the stage IV discussion board. For several days I lurked and read about all kinds of topics from chemotherapy to anti-hormonal drug side effects, to clinical trials. I didn’t post anything. I think I was afraid that posting would make the situation too real. So for several days, I just read and learned.

One day, I came across a thread in which a woman was discussing her love affair with a man named Ned. Another woman chimed in and said that she too was having a love affair with Ned! Seriously? Who is this Ned guy? Was there really a man who went around romancing women with cancer? Seemed kind of sick and weird to me. But that was just the beginning.

Another woman was lamenting that she had never met Ned, but was in a relationship with the Stable Boy. Ok, so now I figured I had to be missing something. Stable Boy???? Is that like the stereotypical “pool boy?” Now, I was really confused.

Reading on, another message from a very happy woman who had just come from a doctors appointment and was happy to report her new love affair with Reggie. She even said her husband was excited for her and they were getting ready to go out to dinner and celebrate. Can you even imagine what I’m thinking at this point?

Finally, I had to get to the bottom of all of this relationship drama. I mean geese, this was worse than prom season at my high school. How can all of these women, facing a serious disease, be so caught up in their love lives and all of these relationships and affairs? I thought we were supposed to discuss cancer and other related issues. I got brave and decided the only way to figure it out was to ask. So, I posted a message asking someone to explain who these Ned, Reggie, and Stable Boy guys were and why they were such a hot topic on a cancer discussion board.

It didn’t take long to solve the mystery. Along with a lot of “LOL’s” I got a message explaining that Ned, Reggie, and the Stable Boy all directly relate to breast cancer and a woman’s current state. Ned is actually an acronym that stands for “NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE.” This is what all stage IV cancer patients strive for. It basically means that scans and blood tests show no evidence of cancer……or in a more traditional term……remission. This is the ultimate goal and obviously why everyone is so excited to be in a relationship with “Ned.”

Reggie, I soon learned, was a term for regression. Meaning tests show tumors are shrinking and or disappearing. Another very good relationship to be in, although any woman would dump Reggie for Ned in a minute.

The Stable Boy, can you guess? The disease is stable… growth or change. Again, not as good as Reggie and Ned, but a man welcome in lieu of growth or progression of the disease.

After reading this message, among many others, I was laughing out loud. Some women on the boards even replied that they laughed so hard they cried after reading my question. It seems some of these veterans forget that us newbies might need some help catching on to the breast cancer slang! What I found to be so inspiring, is that we can laugh through such a horrible situation. Yes, cancer can be humorous and it is okay to laugh.

I am now more of a seasoned veteran on the boards. I too hope to start a love affair with Ned and I don’t mind sharing him with numerous others. He sounds like a great guy! My next scan is on July 5th, so everyone can pray that I get to meet Ned and keep him around for years to come. I don’t think Mark will mind!

I went back in for some minor touch up surgery with my plastic surgeon today. Everything is healing well, I have avoided infection (knock on wood), and my energy and stamina seem to improve daily. It’s unbelievable that surgery was just over three weeks ago. It seems like much longer. Dr. K. even told me today that if healing continues at this rate, he might be able to give me nipples before I go back to work in August. Sorry if that’s a little too much information for some of you …….LOL! 🙂

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Ned, Reggie, and the Stable Boy

  1. Melissa says:

    OK,until that last sentence, I have never REALLY LOL’d about something I read online!! Thanks for the visual 😉 and I hope that you and Mark are soon having a threesome with Ned!

  2. Dale says:

    That is pretty funny. I wonder if guys on prostate cancer blogs brag about being in love with Ned, Reggie or the stable boy.

  3. Tina says:

    I always manage to get your blog at work and it always gives me some crazy emotion… tearful, so grateful for your friendship in ways that make me happy tear up and now today laughing out loud and trying to explain why it was so funny thinking about your nipples!  Kay you are so amazing to me and I’m so glad you are telling us your story in such an honest and open way. I look forward to hearing about your affair with any and all of the above mentioned men and your nipples!

    • Carrie says:

      Thank you for explaining the nipples. When you flashed me (yes, if you bring Kay dinner you may get flashed) I was a little (ok a lot) confused.

      Your spirit is amazing and infectious!

      • kayrnic says:

        Sorry if I traumatized you Carrie! I promise not to flash anyone unless they ask me too! 🙂

      • Robin says:

        Well I havent been flashed yet but I have to say this cancer thing is totally new to me. When I visited Kay in the hospital another couple was also visiting. They asked what the next steps were etc…….Kay said that next step would be to get nipples if she chose to. I was completely floored. I tried to stand in the room and act like I knew exactly what she was talking about. In my head, I was like what the heck! I am so not cancer literate. I left not to long after that conversation and called my mom when I got to the parking lot. She laughed crazy hard…….she thought I was the biggest dork in the world.

        Kay, you definitely inspire me! You have such a good attitude about everything going on ……….and dumb down everything that is going on because hello…….I freaking have no idea what is going on! I appreciate that you take the time to enlighten me, laugh at and with me! I definitely love you! You make everything all better no matter what the situation is! You Rock!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s